


Two Crooks and a College Student

by IrrationallyExcited



Series: Two Crooks and a College Student [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Coldflashwave, College Student, Flirting, Home Invasion, IKEA Furniture, M/M, Multi, Poly, Theft, Threesome, coldflash - Freeform, coldwave, idk really, polyamorous, what are shipnames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9532976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrrationallyExcited/pseuds/IrrationallyExcited
Summary: Barry wasn't ashamed of where he lived... far from it. No, it's not in the best neighbourhood, and there's no real furniture, but it's a home. He has four walls, a roof over his head and a place to sleep. Most importantly; it's all his.Then one day, he finds a stranger inside his home. Instead of being robbed though, Barry ends up with the most unlikely of friends... and a new TV. (But he has no idea how he's ever going to explain any of this to Joe)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This Drabble was inspired by a post I saw on tumblr, by a blog named thestirge. I'm so silly I forgot to mention this before, and now I feel very bad becaus i can't link the actual post... but here's there tumblr, follow them they are v funny and cool and I hope they don't hate me for not linking them before agh thestirge.tumblr.com (I hope the link works agh omg)
> 
> Update: I found the post!! Internet n00b over here whoops--  
> http://thestirge.tumblr.com/post/150057241864/so-i-heard-this-story-second-hand-many-years-ago

Summary:

_Barry wasn't ashamed of where he lived... far from it. No, it's not in the best neighbourhood, and there's no real furniture, but it's a home. He has four walls, a roof over his head and a place to sleep. Most importantly; it's all his._

_Then one day, he finds a stranger inside his home. Instead of being robbed though, Barry ends up with the most unlikely of friends... and a new TV. (But he has no idea how he's ever going to explain any of this to Joe)_

_***_

  
Barry wasn't ashamed of where he lived... far from it. No, it's not in the _best_ neighbourhood, and there's no real furniture, but it's a home. He has four walls, a roof over his head and a place to sleep. Most importantly; it's all _his_.

When he first got accepted into Central City University, he was relieved to be able to stay with Joe. A year later... not so much. With Iris studying in Coast City, and all of his other friends in their own accommodation, he suddenly felt very _stuck_. He had to do something about it.

So he went and got himself an apartment.

Of course it wasn't the smartest financial decision; with his already huge pile of this college debt, and Joe was less than impressed to hear he was moving to such a low-end part of town...but he was glad he went through with it.

Even in the most low-end part of town, the most he could afford was possibly the smallest, crappiest apartment in the whole city. He had enough space for a bathroom, living space and the world's smallest kitchenette- but it wasn't like he ever had to worry about guests anyway. Except for the mice, spiders and other mysterious insects that found their way inside.

He soon grew accustomed to the lingering smell of damp, and the incessant traffic noise outside- even the constantly flickering street light by his window grew to be less infuriating and more of a comfort... It's not like he could afford curtains to block it out.

Possibly the only thing that still managed to bother him about his home was the locks on the door, or rather... the serious lack of them. Sure, he needed a key to open it, and there was a little chain he could latch from inside, but when even _he_ could break in, he knew there was an issue.

He didn't even want to think about the fact that he was almost blackout drunk the first time he lost his keys...

Still, he told himself nothing would happen, his adoptive dad is a cop for God's sake- and it's not like he really had anything expensive enough to steal. No TV, no radio... he didn't even have a real kettle, he just boiled water on the stove like a caveman. The most expensive things he had were his phone, laptop and camera- and he never left them at home anyway.

So he never had to worry. Or so he thought...

^-^

Barry is not in a good mood; he's lost half of the lab report he's supposed to hand in tomorrow, spilled coffee down his brand new white shirt and his back is killing him from sleeping on the floor every night. When he realises the store closed early, he almost bursts into tears- what the hell is he going to eat if he doesn't even have a loaf of bread?

Okay, maybe Barry lied before; he really wasn't prepared to deal with living by himself. Unfortunately, he's way too stubborn to ask Joe for help now... he'll figure it out. Eventually.

It's safe to say; Barry's really not in the mood for anything out of the ordinary tonight. He wants to walk into his home, dump everything on the floor and just fall onto his horrendously thin mattress- forgetting about his empty stomach and unfinished work.

Dropping his keys on the asphalt makes him growl out loud- because _of course_ his lock would be jammed again. Why is he even surprised? The universe obviously hates him, he's being punished for taking Joe's generosity and sacrifices for granted. _Well, Karma can suck my ass_ , he thinks to himself firmly, _I'm not giving up that easily._

He finally shoves the door open, kicking his keys inside and practically throwing his stuff on the floor. Oddly his usual pile of bills is already shoved to the side; rather than blocking the entrance like he's used to, but he doesn't question it. He just keeps walking through the kitchen- which is more like a hallway if he's honest...

And then he screams like he's seen a ghost.

^-^

"Oh hey, do you live here?"

Barry is freaking out, he can't breathe properly and he is freaking out because there is a freaking PERSON in his HOME. Someone actually BROKE IN to his apartment, and they're just standing next to where he _sleeps_ like it's perfectly normal.

Like any normal, panicking college student with a thief in his house, he answers the question. "Yes." Okay, maybe it's more of a petrified squeak than a real answer, but the guy seems satisfied.

"Well I broke in to rob you, but shit. There's nothing here." He explains calmly, staring around the empty room looking absolutely bewildered.

For some reason Barry blushes, like he should be embarrassed in front of someone who's _literally breaking the law_ , right in front of him!

For a moment he just gapes, still desperately trying to understand what the hell is happening. Out of nowhere, he blurts out probably the most useless thing he could come up with, "my dad's a cop, you know."

Rather than the rage or disgust Barry expects, the stranger just smirks, raising his eyebrows incredulously.

"Obviously not a very good one, didn't he teach you that living in this neighbourhood was a bad idea?" He drawls, gesturing around the room to prove his point. For some reason Barry still can't hold his tongue- call it the panic or general absurdity of the whole situation;

"Actually yes, he tried to stop me from moving here. In hindsight, I kinda wish I'd listened to him." He explains, glancing around uneasily. "Are you gonna, like, rob me now?"

_Stupid question_ , Barry.

"What would be the point? You have literally nothing here." Barry just shrugs in reply, waiting for the other shoe to drop; "hold on, stay here- I'll be right back. Just don't call your Dad."

With that, the thief leaves, as if it's completely normal to break into someone's house and then just leave. _In this neighbourhood, it probably is._

^-^

About twenty minutes later, Barry is anxiously pacing around his apartment. Admittedly, there isn't exactly much space to pace around in- but he manages it just fine. Of course thanks to his stress-eating tendencies he managed to find an old half-empty box of cereal in the back of his kitchen cabinet. His nerves are probably the only thing stopping him from gagging at theirq stale taste.

By the time the door opens again, he is anxiously munching on the last handful of rubbery cornflakes. _Because giving a stranger the opportunity to illegally enter your house twice is a completely sane thing to do..._

This time though, he's brought a friend, and Barry finds himself resisting the urge to pray for his life.

"Hey, this is Mick, and I'm Len by the way. We brought you some stuff, because the state of your apartment right now is just sad." He explains, dropping a small box which looks like it might be from Ikea on the counter unceremoniously.

"Oh, uh I'm Barry. Thanks, I guess." He mumbles, still extremely confused.

"Don't thank me, he just makes me carry the heavy stuff." The bigger, considerably more threatening guy growls. Turning around again, he stomps out through the door, and returns with a third box, considerably larger and with an image of a bed frame on the side.

Gaping, Barry almost laughs out loud, "you seriously bought me a bed? What is happening right now?"

"Who said anything about purchasing this stuff? I was literally about to steal from you, why wouldn't I have stolen this stuff too?" Len retorts, rolling his eyes and shoving Barry's mattress and blankets to the side with his foot to clear space for the new bed.

Before Barry can even think of an answer to that, Mick grunts a request for them to help him get 'this shit' through the door, and then Barry realises they stole a mattress for him too- _of course they did, why would they get me a bed without a mattress?_

Almost laughing again at how insane his night has suddenly turned, he helps drag the two-foot-thick mattress through the tiny kitchen and into the only-slightly-larger bedroom, where they lean it against the wall out of the way.

It takes surprisingly less time than he thought to piece together the bed, which fits snugly in the corner of the room, under the window. After flopping the insanely soft mattress into place, they have space to piece together the other things the criminals bought him.

"Why on earth did you get me a tv stand?" Barry exclaims incredulously, after reading the instruction sheet from the third box they'd opened. Sitting cross-legged on the floor; touching knees with the guy who broke into his house earlier, should be weird. Somehow though, both of the criminals manage to make it seem like the most normal thing in the world, and a part of Barry is even enjoying himself a little bit. _It's like Christmas!_

"Well, where else did you expect us to put the TV?" Leonard retorts, barely concealing his grin. _Of course he's enjoying this_.

"Oh you smug bastard," Mick snaps gruffly, breaking the shocked silence; "don't drop your panties just yet, kid. We stole you a tv, not the fuckin' Mona Lisa."

Part of Barry wants to be surprised a guy like Mick even knows what the Mona Lisa is, but then he remembers he's a thief. All thieves fantasise about breaking into Le Louvre and stealing Da Vinci's famous painting, _it's like catnip to crooks_.

Blushing lightly, Barry makes an effort not to stutter as he replies, "of course not, I'm too classy to fuck on the first date. And I'm not even confident that the bed we just built would hold up." Immediately he regrets even opening his mouth, _filter? Where did it go?_

"First date huh? And here I thought you had high standards." Leonard latches onto the bait with something akin to glee in his eyes; obviously relishing in the teasing.

"I said I had class, not standards. I didn't even have a bed when you walked in today, remember?" Barry replies, grinning, and by then Mick's guffawing loudly.

"You guys better keep it in your pants at least until we get the TV set up, I ain't leaving it half done." He adds firmly, rolling his eyes.

^-^

It wasn't long before the TV was abandoned in its box, and it turned out that they _had_  missed a few screws on the bed frame.

Pun _definitely_ intended.

 


End file.
